Bandages for Your Heart - Your Spiritual Toolbox: Everyday Activities for Grief Recovery

Bandages for Your Heart

Your Spiritual Toolbox: Everyday Activities for Grief Recovery

A Riddle: Everyone has one. It has taken your entire life to create. Yet, you don’t always use it when you most need it. What is it? Your spiritual toolbox.

What is a spiritual toolbox? It is a collection of activities that bring you comfort and motivation. For some, reading a spiritual book or exercising always lifts their spirits. For others, shopping or chopping wood provides the boost they need to overcome a tough moment. Creating your own personal list of ways to feel better is a great step toward emotional well-being. Notice that it’s not about waiting until you feel better to take action but rather taking action in order to feel better. Grief can paralyze you, creating inertia that makes even small steps feel overwhelming. However, when the action required is something you already enjoy, it becomes easier to begin.

In my programs, we brainstorm lists of activities that people want to include in their spiritual toolbox. Here are ten of the most popular (not in any particular order):

• Exercise
• Reading uplifting books
• Listening to music
• Prayer
• Spending time with friends and family
• Journaling
• Shopping
• Watching a funny movie or television show
• Knitting or other crafts
• Playing with a pet

Each of these activities helps shift your focus from the pain of grief, redirecting your energy toward comfort and even joy. Some of these ideas may appeal to you, while others might not. That’s okay. Take a moment to write down your personal list of activities that help you feel better.

Once your list is complete, take a moment to set it in your mind. Close your eyes and take three deep breaths. Begin to visualize what your toolbox looks like. There are no rules—people have envisioned everything from a Craftsman toolbox to a wicker basket, a shopping bag, or even an upside-down hat! Let your toolbox appear in your mind naturally. Once you see it, mentally place each of the items from your list inside. If needed, have someone read your list to you, record it and play it back, or simply peek at your list before continuing the visualization. Once everything is in the toolbox, impress upon your heart that these resources are always available to you whenever you need them.

The final step involves preparation and action. Download, purchase, or subscribe to a streaming music service so your favorite songs are readily available. Visit the library or bookstore or download an app to have books at your fingertips. Make plans to go out with friends. Add funny television shows or movies to your watchlist so they are easy to access when you need a good laugh.

Every day, choose something from your list and make time to do it. There may be moments when tears flow as you read a meaningful passage or watch a movie you once enjoyed with a loved one. Honor these tears, they help you cherish the good times. Your spiritual toolbox is a tool for healing, not forgetting. It allows you to connect with your loved one, your Higher Power, and most importantly, with yourself.



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This article is offered as part of our funeral home’s grief support program. The author, Nancy Weil, is a Certified Grief Management Specialist. You are invited to join our virtual Healing Hearts grief support group, facilitated by Nancy twice a month on Zoom. Please contact our funeral home for more information.