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Bandages for Your Heart - Grief Changes You: And It's Okay

Thu, 30 Oct 2025 12:36:21 GMT

Bandages for Your Heart - Grief Changes You: And It's Okay

When someone you love dies, the version of you that existed before their loss fades away. You don’t come out of grief the same person who went into it. Friends and family might say, “I just want the old you back,” not realizing that version of you no longer exists. That “you” changed the moment your loved one took their last breath.

Grief reshapes us—and while it's deeply painful, it can also bring about unexpected growth. Through conversations with many who’ve walked this path, I’ve heard time and again how loss changes them. Some changes are hard. Others, surprisingly, are for the better. Here are just a few ways grief can transform us:

It’s like living in a fog: In the early days of grief, it often feels like you’re walking through a dense fog. Everything is muted. The world continues to spin, but you feel frozen in time. The void left behind is immense, and the ache of missing your loved one is constant. While this fog eventually lifts, it never fully disappears. Certain moments, dates, or memories can bring it rushing back without warning.
A Different Kind of Joy: At first, it may feel like happiness is gone forever. But eventually, joy does return—it just looks and feels different. It’s quieter, deeper, and often tinged with a bittersweet edge. You learn to carry joy and sorrow side by side.
Relearning Self-Care: If you were a caregiver, your own needs likely took a back seat. Now, with your loved one gone, you may finally have space to care for yourself. For others, the pain can be so heavy that self-care feels pointless. But grief demands energy—physical, emotional, spiritual—and meeting your needs is not selfish. It’s survival. Now is the time for radical, unapologetic self-care.
Friendships Change: Grief has a way of revealing who’s truly there for you. Some people you expected to lean on may drift away—they might not know how to handle your pain or feel uncomfortable with your sorrow. Others, sometimes unexpectedly, show up in meaningful ways. Try not to hold resentment for those who can’t meet you in your grief. Instead, cherish those who do. Let them walk with you.
Letting Go of Little Things: After experiencing such a profound loss, the small irritations that used to bother you just... don’t. Traffic jams, long lines, petty drama—they pale in comparison to what you’ve endured. You see life differently now, and you begin to focus only on what truly matters.
Savoring the Moment: You understand, in a way others might not, that life can change in an instant. This realization pushes you to appreciate small, quiet moments—morning coffee, a sunset, a hug. You don’t take those things for granted anymore.
Shifting Priorities: Grief often reshuffles your to-do list. The dishes can wait. What matters more now is time spent with people you love, or moments of peace and reflection. You begin choosing what nurtures your heart, not just what fills your calendar.
Rediscovering or Exploring Hobbies: Many people find themselves drawn to new interests or returning to long-forgotten passions. Whether it’s painting, hiking, gardening, or dancing—it doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it brings a sense of purpose or joy. These activities don’t erase grief, but they can offer comfort, distraction, or even healing.
Asking for Help – If your partner or loved one handled certain things, their absence might leave you feeling unsure or overwhelmed. You might hesitate to ask for help, worried about being a burden. But now is the time to let others in. Accepting help isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s an act of courage and connection. Let people love you in this way.
Inner Strength: Perhaps the most profound c hange people report is realizing how strong they truly are. You didn’t ask for this, and yet here you are—showing up, getting through each day, learning how to carry your loss. That strength was always within you. Now, it’s rising to the surface. It is one of grief’s quiet gifts.

Grief will change you. That’s not a failure—it’s a testament to your love. You’re not meant to “go back to normal.” You're meant to find your way forward, carrying the memory of your loved one with you as you grow, heal, and live again.

And it’s okay—more than okay—that you’re not the same.

Bandages for Your Heart - Your Spiritual Toolbox: Everyday Activities for Grief Recovery

Mon, 25 Aug 2025 14:32:30 GMT

Bandages for Your Heart

Your Spiritual Toolbox: Everyday Activities for Grief Recovery

A Riddle: Everyone has one. It has taken your entire life to create. Yet, you don’t always use it when you most need it. What is it? Your spiritual toolbox.

What is a spiritual toolbox? It is a collection of activities that bring you comfort and motivation. For some, reading a spiritual book or exercising always lifts their spirits. For others, shopping or chopping wood provides the boost they need to overcome a tough moment. Creating your own personal list of ways to feel better is a great step toward emotional well-being. Notice that it’s not about waiting until you feel better to take action but rather taking action in order to feel better. Grief can paralyze you, creating inertia that makes even small steps feel overwhelming. However, when the action required is something you already enjoy, it becomes easier to begin.

In my programs, we brainstorm lists of activities that people want to include in their spiritual toolbox. Here are ten of the most popular (not in any particular order):

Exercise
Reading uplifting books
Listening to music
Prayer
Spending time with friends and family
Journaling
Shopping
Watching a funny movie or television show
Knitting or other crafts
Playing with a pet

Each of these activities helps shift your focus from the pain of grief, redirecting your energy toward comfort and even joy. Some of these ideas may appeal to you, while others might not. That’s okay. Take a moment to write down your personal list of activities that help you feel better.

Once your list is complete, take a moment to set it in your mind. Close your eyes and take three deep breaths. Begin to visualize what your toolbox looks like. There are no rules—people have envisioned everything from a Craftsman toolbox to a wicker basket, a shopping bag, or even an upside-down hat! Let your toolbox appear in your mind naturally. Once you see it, mentally place each of the items from your list inside. If needed, have someone read your list to you, record it and play it back, or simply peek at your list before continuing the visualization. Once everything is in the toolbox, impress upon your heart that these resources are always available to you whenever you need them.

The final step involves preparation and action. Download, purchase, or subscribe to a streaming music service so your favorite songs are readily available. Visit the library or bookstore or download an app to have books at your fingertips. Make plans to go out with friends. Add funny television shows or movies to your watchlist so they are easy to access when you need a good laugh.

Every day, choose something from your list and make time to do it. There may be moments when tears flow as you read a meaningful passage or watch a movie you once enjoyed with a loved one. Honor these tears, they help you cherish the good times. Your spiritual toolbox is a tool for healing, not forgetting. It allows you to connect with your loved one, your Higher Power, and most importantly, with yourself.

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This article is offered as part of our funeral home’s grief support program. The author, Nancy Weil, is a Certified Grief Management Specialist. You are invited to join our virtual Healing Hearts grief support group, facilitated by Nancy twice a month on Zoom. Please contact our funeral home for more information.

Bandages for Your Heart - Misery Loves Company: How Grief Support Groups Help

Mon, 25 Aug 2025 14:25:58 GMT

Bandages for Your Heart

Misery Loves Company: How Grief Support Groups Help

These three words not only define why a grief support group is important, but they also explain why some people avoid attending one.

While being with others who share a similar experience can be incredibly helpful, what actually happens during a meeting is often not what people expect. Most support groups are not just places where people “sit around and tell sad stories.” Instead, each session provides an opportunity for participants to share how they are navigating their grief, discuss challenges they are facing, and celebrate small victories along the way. The facilitator weaves these stories together, helping attendees gain wisdom and perspective from one another. Laughter and tears are both welcome, as each plays a role in the healing process.

Support can be offered in person, over the phone, or virtually through platforms like Zoom. The method of connection is less important than the shared experience itself. Healing occurs as attendees learn practical tools to navigate their grief—whether through breathing techniques, strategies for coping with loneliness, or insights from others who truly understand their pain. Facilitators and group members alike provide guidance, ensuring that no one feels lost or alone in their journey.

Many grieving individuals struggle to find understanding from friends and family who simply cannot relate to their loss. A support group, however, offers a sanctuary where emotions and thoughts can be freely expressed, without judgment. Here, everyone is heard, valued, and supported by those who truly understand the depth of their sorrow.

Grief can be an isolating experience, but coming together with others helps ease that burden. Within a grief support group, something special happens—a quiet kind of magic. When the session ends, each person leaves knowing they are not alone. They carry the love, support, and prayers of the group with them. No one should have to grieve alone, and in a grief support group, both mourning and healing find their rightful place.

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Bandages for Your Heart - Living Your Legacy: Honoring Memories and Finding Purpose

Mon, 25 Aug 2025 14:17:27 GMT

Bandages for Your Heart

Living Your Legacy: Honoring Memories and Finding Purpose

When we hear the word “legacy,” we often think of something grand or powerful. Rarely do we consider it to be the small, everyday actions—the way we treat others and the values we uphold. Yet, when we remember those we have loved and lost, these are exactly the things that stand out. It is the ordinary moments that become cherished memories. The stories of their lives form a lasting legacy, passed down through generations.

We recall their journeys—perhaps immigrating through Ellis Island to build a new life in America. We think of how they earned a living, the hobbies they enjoyed, their sense of humor, their cooking, their love for golf or bowling, and the countless little things that made them who they were. Their essence remains, inspiring us with how they faced adversity, treated others, and embraced life.

As Robert Frost said, “I can sum up everything I know about life in three words… it goes on.” And it does. In times of grief or overwhelm, it may seem impossible to regain the energy to move forward—but we must. Each day is an opportunity to shape our own legacy. We can live in a way that inspires those around us. We can learn new things and take up new activities. We can love our family and friends and conduct ourselves in a compassionate manner towards all who come our way.

Mother Teresa once said, “Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.” There is no greater legacy than that.

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Bandages for Your Heart - Laughter in the Face of Tears: How Humor Helps in Grief Recovery

Mon, 25 Aug 2025 14:00:08 GMT

Bandages for Your Heart

Laughter in the Face of Tears: How Humor Helps in Grief Recovery

Many people believe that grief and laughter don’t belong together. After all, when you’re coping with the loss of a loved one, the idea of finding humor during such deep sorrow can feel impossible—or even inappropriate. Yet, research on the relationship between laughter and grief shows that laughter is a natural and beneficial response, even amid sorrow. The healing benefits extend to the body, mind, and spirit, helping to ease the pain.

Why laughter? If laughter is the best medicine, is there anything that cannot be eased by using it? When grieving, several common symptoms arise. The immune system is often suppressed, yet research suggests that laughter can boost immune function. Many individuals also experience difficulty concentrating after the death of a loved one. This temporary lack of focus can actually serve as a protective mechanism, allowing the enormity of the loss to sink in gradually. This process may take weeks, months, or even years, but it is a natural part of grieving. In the meantime, many find themselves relying on Post-it notes or lists to complete simple tasks. Laughter can aid brain function and memory retention, reducing stress and providing momentary relief from sadness. As humorist Erma Bombeck once said, "If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it."

Many people find that laughter brings comfort after losing a loved one. In a recent study, our team explored the relationship between laughter and grief through a survey of over 400 individuals. One participant shared, "Laughter lifts the heavy burden of loss, even if only for a few minutes. It is a wonderful respite." Telling stories about a loved one helps many cope with their absence. Others have developed a personal Humor Plan of Action (HPOA), intentionally incorporating laughter into their daily routine. This could involve reading comics, watching a favorite sitcom or movie, or searching for their favorite comedian on YouTube. Some respondents used gallows humor to lighten difficult moments. One woman, upon visiting her mother’s grave and noticing cracked and parched soil, turned to her brother and quipped, "It looks like Mom is trying to get out to get her cigarettes."

Of course, not everyone finds laughter easy after a loss. Some may want to laugh but struggle to find anything funny. Others may feel guilty for experiencing happiness again. One woman found that those around her stopped offering comfort because they misinterpreted her laughter as a sign that she was fine. Grieving is often filled with contradictions.

Fortunately, the benefits of laughter can still be accessed through therapeutic laughter—laughing for no reason. The brain does not require an external stimulus to produce the sound of laughter. Try laughing for thirty seconds or a minute right now. Close your eyes and experiment with different sounds—chuckle, giggle, or tee-hee. Do you feel better? If a doctor offered a prescription that lifted moods, boosted the immune system, enhanced concentration, and reduced stress—all at no cost—wouldn’t you take it? That is the gift of laughter.

There is no one who would want their loved ones to remain miserable forever. If you are seeking permission to smile and laugh again, think of it as a path to healing. Perhaps you can start by recalling funny stories about your loved one, looking at old photos, or watching home videos. It may involve spending time with friends and family, reconnecting with joy, even if only temporarily. Grief encompasses a wide range of emotions—laughter, anger, guilt, joy, tears, and bitterness. Each has its place, but it is important not to dwell too long in any one emotion. Identify what you are feeling and visit that neighborhood, but don’t build your house on Anger Alley or Offended Lane. Also, recognize that guilt often accompanies joy in the grieving process.

Just as grief is experienced differently by each person, so too is humor and laughter. The role they play in your healing journey is a personal choice. By understanding the restorative power of laughter, you can begin to appreciate its value as a coping tool. Whether you engage in spontaneous laughter or develop a full Humor Plan of Action, I encourage you to smile, chuckle, and laugh. You may find that laughter and tears can coexist, each playing a part in your path to healing.

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Bandages for Your Heart - Feel Better Now: A Simple 6-Step Guide to Healing After a Loss

Mon, 25 Aug 2025 13:55:31 GMT

Bandages for Your Heart
Feel Better Now: A Simple 6-Step Guide to Healing After a Loss

I have spent years studying and sharing healing techniques to help ease the daily pain that accompanies loss. Although coping with grief may feel overwhelming, these 6 tools can offer emotional support, provide comfort, and help you rebuild hope after heartache.

Here are six steps to help you navigate grief and make it through each day:

Rally the Troops
Reach out to family and friends—let them know what has happened. Their love and support will sustain you. Their calls, messages, and presence can help you get through not just the day, but even the next few minutes. Tell them what you need, and be willing to forgive any well-meaning but unhelpful advice. Accept their words as coming from a place of love, then let them go.
Check In with Yourself
Ask yourself throughout the day, “How am I feeling at this moment?” Tune in to your emotions—not what you think you should feel, but what you truly feel. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and listen to your heart. You may be surprised to find moments of peace or even joy amid the sorrow. Grief isn’t constant heaviness; allowing yourself to acknowledge lighter moments can be healing. When people grieve, they tend to shut down. They stuff their feelings and wear a mask. There is a perception that others don’t want to witness our pain, so it is simpler to just act as if we are okay. This can be exhausting both physically and mentally. By getting back in touch with your feelings, it allows you to “check in” and understand where you are at.
Breathe
The simplest way to center yourself and reduce anxiety is through deep breathing. Shallow “stress breathing” moves only the upper chest, while deep belly breathing engages the diaphragm, calming the nervous system. Take slow, full breaths, focusing on the inhale and exhale. Let each breath bring you into the present moment, free from past regrets or future worries.
Write it Out
Journaling allows you to release emotions and process thoughts. Write freely—no need to edit or censor yourself. Document your memories, pain, and daily experiences. Write down your thoughts about the future. As time passes, looking back on older entries can reveal the progress you’ve made. Words are powerful tools for healing, and putting your feelings on paper can lighten your emotional load.
Laugh Daily
Laughter reduces stress, boosts your immune system, gets your brain working, and lifts your mood. Watch a funny show, listen to a comedian, or spend time with lighthearted friends. Even if you don’t feel like laughing, do it anyway, fake laughter can still trigger real benefits. It’s impossible to be both anxious and laughing at the same time, so embrace joy, even in small moments.
Engage in Your Passions
Doing something you love helps diminish pain. While some activities may carry bittersweet memories, engaging in them can still bring comfort. When you are “in the zone” time stops and things flow. If you’re unsure what sparks joy for you, explore new interests. Make a list of things that uplift you—reading, nature walks, gardening, time with pets or grandchildren. These passions form your personal “spiritual toolbox” to draw from in difficult moments.

Believe it or not, joy is still within reach. These six simple practices can help reconnect you with inner happiness. No matter where you are on your grief journey, you can take small steps toward healing. Connect with others, embrace your emotions, breathe deeply, write, laugh, and live. As James Russell Lowell said, “Joy comes, grief goes, we know not how.”

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Bandages for Your Heart - Making Cents of it All: Using Small Acts of Kindness to Find Healing After Loss

Wed, 06 Aug 2025 20:21:04 GMT

Bandages for Your Heart

Making Cents of it All: Using Small Acts of Kindness to Find Healing After Loss

I read an article about a grief support group being held in an all-boys high school. At a time of life when their greatest worry should be acne, girlfriends and homework, these boys all were struggling with the death of a parent. The very people we take for granted will be there for us when we get home from school or across the dinner table at night, had tragically left this world too soon. These young men who had to hold it together all day, were able to be vulnerable and show their sorrow, their fears and their anger at what had happened to them in their life. Instead of turning to alcohol, drugs or other unhealthy crutches to handle the pain, they turned to one another. Teachers would come each month to the group and share their own stories of loss, many of their stories mirrored what their students were dealing with. They saw their teachers as vulnerable, as parentless children now grown up; they saw them as human beings with a wounded heart like their own. Over pizza and chocolate chip cookies, these young men journeyed together through their grief. Over shared words and understood pain, they healed. They also were challenged to do one thing every day… use three cents.

Three pennies was the cost of this valuable lesson and it is one we can all put into our own lives. They were instructed to take three pennies and put them in their pocket. Throughout the day they were challenged to make a difference to someone, to offer a kindness or help them in some way. Each time they completed this task, they were to take one penny and put it in their other pocket. By the end of the day the goal was to have all three cents safely harbored in the opposite pocket from which it began. The challenge began all over again the next morning.

Transforming pain into purpose. For these young men it came from reaching out to others. Grief can be isolating. How we are feeling is not easily understood by others. By reaching out of our own pain, we connect with other people and begin to heal. The loss becomes a little more bearable when the experience turns into a way to reach out to others with a new understanding, a more compassionate outlook and a desire to help another person in some small way.

But what about the other side of this equation…how good are you at receiving? Life is about balance and it is just as important that you are a good “receiver” and not just a good “giver.” Throw out the old adage: ‘tis better to give than to receive . You must do both. Can you ask for help when you need it? Many people struggle with this and do not like to ask for help. They are like the two-year old in the “me do” stage. They can do it all themselves, even if it is a bit of a struggle. If this sounds like you, read on for a reason to stop the old habit of “me do” and begin to allow the “yes, thank you” into your life.

Research has shown that when a person receives a kindness, their serotonin levels rise, making them feel good. The person who offers the kindness, their levels rise as well. Remarkably anyone who witnesses that kindness also has an upswing in their serotonin levels. The ripple effect of a kindness offered and received continues on. In fact, those people who received or witnessed a kindness were more likely to offer one to someone else that day. “Pay it forward” in action. Yet if you don’t allow someone to help you, you are depriving so many from the benefit of the kind action. “Me do” must make way for “you do for me” in order for this chain reaction to begin. Give and take, offer and receive, from one kindness to another. Take another three pennies and use them to mark each time you allow someone to help you. From pocket to pocket, person to person, the pennies are merely touchstones to remind us that our lives are enriched when we make “cents” out of our day.

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Bandages for Your Heart - Grief is Like a Marathon: Understanding the Journey of Loss

Wed, 06 Aug 2025 20:21:03 GMT

Bandages for Your Heart

Grief is Like a Marathon: Understanding the Journey of Loss

On mile 23 my legs were ready to admit defeat. Mentally I was still focused on crossing that finish line, but my body was weary in the heat of the day. Walking 26.2 miles is not an easy feat, especially when you are out of shape and overweight. While I trained for this day, nothing prepares you for the actual event. By mile 11 I had already learned that mental attitude was far more important than physical training. I witnessed people talk themselves out of the race. “I will just rest for a while and then continue,” they would say. They caught the next bus back to the finish line. My feet hurt and I have the wrong socks and it is hot and my leg is cramping…. excuse after excuse after excuse. Not one of them reached their goal and finished the race. I did…. twice. Once in Jamaica and once in Oregon. I am looking forward to training for one again. Walking those marathons changed my life.

I spoke about my experience to a grief support group recently. Grief can feel like walking that marathon. It is a long journey and one that you can never be totally prepared for. There are others on the path that support you and encourage you to just make it a bit further. They set the pace and keep you going. There are others who get stuck where they are and never seem to find their way. They continue to grieve deeply years later. Their life does not move forward. Time continues, but they hold on to the past.

Grief is not only a physical journey; it is an emotional and mental one as well. Thoughts repeat and send you a message that does not always make you feel better. Fear, sadness, regret, remorse, guilt, pain and anxiety may seem to be the theme of what occupies your thoughts each day. None of these eases your pain. By changing your thoughts, you can begin to make progress towards healing. Become a survivor by acknowledging those small steps you take. For one person that could be mowing the lawn for the first time. For another, it might be grocery shopping without tears when you pass by your loved one’s favorite food. Each small success is a moment to savor. It is an indicator that you will survive. That you can do more than you ever thought you could. That inside of you is a strength that you may have never called upon before, but now that you need it, it is there to carry you through.

There is one major difference between a marathon and the journey of grief. I could mark my progress by each mile marker. 26.2 miles and I was finished -medal around my neck and heading back to the hotel, proud of my accomplishment. There is not a finish line to cross for grief. There is no cheering crowd or end point to aim for. It may feel like you are wandering aimlessly, and this can lead to you giving up hope that life will ever be sweet again. We are a goal-oriented society and unprepared for a challenge that has no set steps or guideposts. How can we measure progress on a journey without an end? How do we avoid feeling hopeless and helpless? How might we harness inner strength when we have no energy to even make it through the day?

Three things to keep in mind:

There may be no finish line, but the journey is taking you somewhere. You have the choice to just drift or to guide your path. You can join a grief support group, read books on grieving, get involved in new activities, start to take care of yourselves (even to the point of a little bit of pampering) or even just breathe when you are feeling overwhelmed. Remember that, while you did not choose this to happen, you can choose how you handle it. Are you ready to take action or are you content to just wallow and give up?
Celebrate each step of forward progress. Recognize when you do something that was difficult to accomplish. If you learn how to pay the bills, change a light bulb or take a trip alone, acknowledge that this was a moment to savor. Mixed emotions may accompany these times, but you did it…or at least you tried. Success is not always measured in completing a task, but in getting started. Taking that first step is always the hardest one. Once you do that, the rest of the way will open to you.
There are no medals for surviving a loss but never doubt that you are a winner. Each time you reach out in understanding to someone else in pain, you win. Every laugh, smile and happy moment you share with others, you win. When you give back in your loved one’s honor, you win. When you share a memory of a time spent together or look at their photo and feel love, not pain, you win. When you start to accept your “new” life and begin to see all that is yet for you to do, you win.

Step by step, slowly and steadily you find yourself moving along. Life begins to find its rhythm and you start to dream of things yet to be, once again. The journey of grief has no time clock, no finish line to cross and no medals to display, but it does have one thing that a marathon does not...you are not walking alone. Your loved one accompanies you every step of the way.

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Why Choose Us? FairHaven's Mark Scheidt has the answers

Tue, 12 Apr 2022 04:00:00 GMT

When it comes to end-of-life care, you and your family have choices. However, the most important one may be which funeral home you select. Listen in as partner-director Mark Scheidt expands on the subject in our latest spot — plus brief testimonials from families we've served.

WHY CHOOSE US? Kind, compassionate care and a selection process that's free of pressure. Our locally owned funeral home prides itself on creating an atmosphere of warm, thoughtful support, and families who have chosen us have noticed. FairHaven Funeral Home has also been voted the Reader's Choice Best Funeral Home in Fort Wayne three years in a row.

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THREE IN A ROW: We've Been Voted Fort Wayne's Best

Fri, 24 Sep 2021 04:00:00 GMT

We're pleased to be recognized as Fort Wayne's Best Funeral Home for the third time in three years. It's proof positive that our brand of care — authentic, local and deriving from a deep sense of mission — is speaking directly to Fort Wayne families and helping them heal.

With over 100 years of combined staff experience in funeral care services, FairHaven Funeral Home and Cremation Services is this year’s 1 ^st place recipient for the third time in as many years.

“It’s confirmation that we are providing our services in the right way,” funeral director and partner Britton Claghorn said about the 2021 win. “Our motivation has always been to treat others respectfully and with compassion, helping them through the journey of grief.”

Locally owned FairHaven continues to receive excellent feedback from the community. They have received over 100 5-Star reviews on Google and Facebook, and families who have chosen them have been generous with their support.

“We love getting this important encouragement. It’s a compliment to us and always appreciated,” director-partner Lucas Glessner said.

He went on to explain FairHaven staff’s sense of commitment. “Our staff is dedicated to handling every aspect and detail of the service with great care. We all work so well together, and we share the same mission of service.”

Over the past year, creating a safe place for families to grieve has been challenging as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic.

“It was difficult to see families go through the grieving process without the support of their communities, family and friends being able to come together," director-partner Mark Scheidt said.

“We took many measures to keep people safe and our building clean. The restrictions on numbers kept families from the support they needed, but we accommodated many through webcasting funerals, outdoor visitations, and online guestbooks,” Scheidt added, referring to the adjustments FairHaven staff were willing to make to help client-families memorialize their loved ones.

FairHaven has continued to grow each year since owners Scheidt, Claghorn, Glessner and Jarod Steffen took over in May of 2018. The growth has created jobs and partnerships with other local businesses, something that's win-win for Fort Wayne and the local economy.

Funeral director-partner Jarod Steffen said, “Supporting the community and other local businesses is something the entire staff believes in. We also understand the importance of giving back and being a part of a community that has given us so much support.”

FairHaven is helping families by offering a free pre-planning service. It’s an opportunity to plan and make wishes known before it becomes a burden to loved ones.

“We see everyday how beneficial pre-planning a funeral can be," said Steffen. “Our prearrangement counsellors make the process easy and that provides peace of mind and certainty for everyone involved.”

Readers' Choice 2021: We've Been Nominated

Mon, 12 Jul 2021 04:00:00 GMT

It gives us great pleasure to announce we've been nominated for Readers' Choice 2021 Best Funeral Home category, an honor we won in 2019 and 2020. We're so grateful to you, our families, and Fort Wayne readers. We invite you to show your support and VOTE !

This year's voting for "Best of" recognition is now open, and we're excited to be in the running again for the city's Best Funeral Home. This would constitute a three-peat for FairHaven, but the focus for staff is always providing the best in care.

"It's an honor to be considered for this recognition. We continue to realize the experience we give families impacted by loss has to be meaningful and supportive," said Partner-Director Jarod Steffen.

"We're operating in deeply sensitive emotional territory, and we never forget that. The pandemic temporarily altered the way we honor life and grieve, but we're seeing tremendous movement in returning to normal," Steffen said.

FairHaven is asking client families, friends, and supporters who've experienced their level of care and attention to help get out the vote.

FairHaven Funeral Home opened in 2015 as a new funeral home. In 2018 four local funeral directors joined together and invested in the new facility with the goal of transforming the funeral home experience for families in Fort Wayne.

"We proved that a tasteful, caring and affordable end-of-life service experience continues to be the exception in our city," said Britton Claghorn , local partner-director of FairHaven Funeral Home. " We love this community and want to spread the message of who we are and what we stand for. If you have a chance to vote, it would be much appreciated."

VOTING INSTRUCTIONS: Click the vote button or other links above, which will send you to the voting site. Under Professional Services in the left menu, click the tab for Best Funeral Home and click VOTE. Voting closes August 4, 2021.

FairHaven Best Funeral Home in Fort Wayne again, say Readers' Choice voters

Tue, 22 Sep 2020 04:00:00 GMT

We're pleased to announce that FairHaven Funeral Home has been voted the Best Funeral Home in Fort Wayne for the second year in row!

BEST OF FORT WAYNE: In a year of consequential firsts that had many businesses making adjustments, being voted at the top of their category for the second year in row demonstrates an important level of consistency and poise.

Yesterday FairHaven Funeral Home and Cremation Services was officially given notice that it had won the popular vote in the Funeral Home category, making it two straight. [See the Readers' Choice 2020 results and click Best Funeral Home in the side menu].

The popular business awards, which are conducted on behalf of Fort Wayne Newspapers , are an important yardstick for local businesses and a great help to consumers seeking quality professional services.

"We're incredibly grateful and humbled by this award," partner-director Britton Claghorn said. "It really feels like the Fort Wayne community is coming to appreciate our local sensibility and the value we offer."

And yet in this year of unpredictable upheaval, beginning with shortages of PPE and state social distancing guidelines, FairHaven staff have kept their composure in delivering full-on support when loss visits itself on a family.

Partner-director Mark Scheidt said, "Our focus continues to be the needs of a family that lost someone close. It's compassion, it's assurance that steadies them. It's not a made-up thing, it's what you have running through your mind when you're taking care of others and their loved one."

Staff at FairHaven are proud of their long service experience. They are state certified practitioners and have been highly praised by client-families in Google Reviews and on Facebook .

Families repeatedly express feelings of authentic support and kindness in making accommodations, planning and presenting a tribute or cremation service, or any one of a number of ways a family member's life can be celebrated and remembered.

FairHaven is locally owned and operated, making it the exception among funeral homes in Fort Wayne. Just over two years ago, Britton Claghorn, Lucas Glessner, Jarod Steffen and Mark Scheidt joined together as partners to provide authentic, affordable end-of-life care to families.

Recently Steffen was singled out as one of Fort Wayne's top 40 entrepreneurs under the age of 40. [Read Forty Under 40 Award Winner ]

"Let's face it, the death of someone we love is very very difficult. It's an extraordinary change for everyone involved," Steffen said. "We're here to answer this sensitive circumstance with kind understanding, and the aim of helping families say goodbye in the most appreciable way possible."

The public feedback so far indicates that FairHaven is providing an exceptional service experience and value.

Forty Under 40 Award Winner: Jarod Steffen!

Mon, 10 Aug 2020 04:00:00 GMT

An enormous business honor was bestowed on one of Fort Wayne's youngest entrepreneurs last week. Our own Jarod Steffen was named one of Business Weekly 's Forty Under 40 Executives of the Year!

Business Weekly's Forty Under 40 Awards Night: Jarod Steffen (right) with his wife Molly and business partner Mark Scheidt and his wife Mona.

"It feels very much like a year of firsts," Jarod Steffen, one of FairHaven Funeral Home's partner-directors, said about the award, but meaning so much more. "Almost everything has been a surprise."

The business community's highly anticipated ceremony, which was postponed due to COVID-19, took special pains to maintain social distancing and livestream the event for those who could not attend in person.

Last Thursday night Steffen took honors at Business Weekly's Forty Under 40 Awards Ceremony as one of Fort Wayne's most promising business executives under the age of 40. Steffen is 38 and has made a significant impact on the lives of many in the community and at work .

He and his partners, Mark Scheidt, Britton Claghorn and Lucas Glessner , took an ownership stake in FairHaven in 2018 and have transformed the end-of-life care landscape in Fort Wayne to be more empathetic, comforting and affordable.

Last year they expanded the facility and created jobs in the local economy.

As expected, Steffen was quick to hand credit to his partners and staff. "We have an incredibly kind and passionate team. We support each other, we take time to care about and listen to families and to each other because we know acceptance and understanding are what distinguish our service," he said.

Under the current leadership, FairHaven Funeral Home & Cremation Services has earned more Google 5-Star Reviews than any other funeral home in Fort Wayne.

"We keep getting noticed for the sensitive and necessary service and support we give to families," Steffen said. "This recognition is in no way mine alone."

Pandemic Nearly Upends Sailor's Military Funeral Service

Thu, 04 Jun 2020 04:00:00 GMT

Due to Covid-19, the Navy wouldn't allow active members of their Honor Guard to attend the service of Robert Thompson, Sr. That just didn't sit right with FairHaven owner-director Mark Scheidt, who put out his own call to help honor Thompson.

Military Funeral Ceremony: Volunteer Honor Guard members were recruited to attend Thompson's service to honor his memory as a serviceman in the U.S. Navy. Thompson died on May 26th, 2020, one day after Memorial Day.

The bonds of military service are so tight not even a global pandemic would stand in the way of properly commemorating a fellow service member. But that's not how it looked at first, according to the U.S. Navy's policy on active personnel.

For Mark Scheidt, co-owner and funeral director at FairHaven Funeral Home, he wasn't comfortable letting a veteran, Robert Thompson, Sr., go to his grave without the solemn reminder that he put his life on the line to serve his country.

"The thought that Thompson wouldn't get the military ceremony he deserved disappointed and saddened me," Scheidt said.

Thompson passed away on May 26th, the day after Memorial Day. He served in the Navy during the Vietnam war and battled PTSD and depression. He was 63.

Thompson's son, Robert Jr., wanted a better ending for his father. He wanted him to be recognized for his service even though the elder Thompson didn't have faith that anyone would show up.

"He didn't think five people would attend," Thompson Jr. said in his eulogy, his voice breaking with emotion. "Thank you."

When Scheidt began to make the arrangements for Thompson and learned that the Navy would not be supply an Honor Guard for the service due to Covid, he turned to social media and his own network of family and friends with this post:

The response was overwhelming. Scheidt had more than enough volunteer service members reach out to him with offers of assistance.

"Our military brothers and sisters are special people who demonstrate a deep, deep level of love and support," Scheidt said. "Thompson also had these qualities, he served honorably. There's no doubt about that."

WATCH: Robert J. Thompson, Sr. Military Funeral Service

IN PICTURES: Veterans Honoring Veterans

FairHaven at the Y: Talking to YMCA Seniors about the Future

Wed, 08 May 2019 04:00:00 GMT

FairHaven's Jill Jordan and Lisa Schenkel joined attorney Charles Backs to discuss estate planning, veterans benefits and pre-arranged funeral planning.

Last Thursday morning we were invited to speak to senior members of the Parkview Family YMCA . The presentation was entitled "Planning for the Future," and we were joined by attorney Charles Backs , a partner with Beers Mallers Backs & Salin , who spoke to the audience about estate planning, veteran's benefits and Medicaid planning.

Our part -- pre-arrangement funeral planning -- can seem like a sobering change of topic at first. It has weight and finality to it because it asks us to imagine a world without us. However, the alternative, leaving such decisions entirely to others, may be harder to accept for some people.

"If you're an organized person, someone who likes to have their affairs in order, you're going to be bothered by not having a final roadmap," Jill Jordan said. "It can be especially hard on surviving family." Jordan joined FairHaven last year and is a sensible advocate for getting the facts on preplanning.

Lisa Schenkel, who also helps client families at FairHaven, had this to say, "We advise people to give it some thought by listening to the benefits. The planning part is fairly straightforward and can give you and your family the clarity everyone needs and deserves to carry out your wishes."

Both Schenkel and Jordan are experienced, state-licensed pre-arrangement counselors. They are quick to point out that pre-arrangement planning has the added benefit of cost certainty and being able to pay on more relaxed terms over time. Most people don't realize that funeral charges are due on completion.

"Even if people choose not to act immediately, we think the education that goes with planning ahead is invaluable," Schenkel said. "We're open to those talks anytime. They're completely complimentary and there's absolutely no obligation."

FairHaven Funeral & Cremation Services is locally owned and operated. We're proud citizens of Fort Wayne, and we take an active role in making our community better. We also make sure families have affordable choices for laying to rest and remembering their loved ones. Contact us or browse our website to learn more.

Vital Records: FairHaven Hosts State Practitioners

Mon, 29 Apr 2019 04:00:00 GMT

FairHaven Funeral Home hosted the North Chapter Spring Conference for the Indiana Vital Record Association.

FairHaven Funeral Home wants to make sure an affordable and uniquely local provider is available to you and your family during times of need. Call or browse our website to learn more.

FairHaven Chapel Expansion: Building a Better Experience for Families

Thu, 11 Apr 2019 04:00:00 GMT

FairHaven sets to work on a new foundation with plans to expand the chapel. The locally owned funeral home chooses local builder & suppliers, aiding families by giving back to the Fort Wayne economy.

Not unlike everyday homeowners, when the family grows, so too does the house.

FairHaven Funeral Home has been seeing considerably more people attending services in the last nine months, largely due to the appeals the new owners have created and their close ties to the community. As a result, they're expanding their building envelop with an addition to the facility.

"We are incredibly excited about the project," Jarod Steffen, one of four partner-directors at FairHaven, wrote in an email Wednesday. "This wouldn't be possible without the enormous trust families have put in us. The community is behind us, and we want to provide the very best experience we can for them."

The locally owned funeral home provides exceptional value to families by often being priced lower than competitors. However, it's the service experience that customers frequently cite in reviews in search and social media.

FairHaven was built only a few years ago, in 2015, and with a thoroughly contemporary design and decor, it has become a sanctuary for families that feels very different from funeral homes in the past.

"It's bright, airy and fresh. It's not maudlin and it doesn't frighten children," another partner-director, Lucas Glessner, said. "We think our emphasis on local values, our building, and our huge-hearted, no-holds-barred attention to service is starkly different from what the corporately-owned funeral homes offer in Fort Wayne."

FairHaven Funeral Home has chosen Lengacher Brothers Construction to complete the project. The renovation, which has been estimated at over one-quarter million dollars, will include the chapel expansion, another arrangement room and additional office space.

While there will be some inconvenience related to the construction, careful scheduling will result in few noticeable disruptions to services and family consultations.

"For us, it will continue to be about looking after families and their loved ones," Glessner said. "Our house is still a home to families when such a loss occurs."

To learn more about FairHaven Funeral Home, Fort Wayne's locally-owned funeral home, we invite you browse our website or call us at (260) 424-5000. Inquiries are never a problem. We're often immediately available to provide information, advice and cost comparisons. Or follow us on Facebook , where you can read reviews and find out more about our community initiatives.

New Flag Pole: Stars & Stripes Forever

Sat, 06 Apr 2019 04:00:00 GMT

FairHaven raises new flag pole, making sure military families and patriots are dutifully respected during funeral services.

FairHaven Funeral Home erected a new flag pole on the grounds of the facility this week. The contemporary, locally owned funeral home was built in 2015, and like any new build, the owners are still putting together the final touches.

In May of last year, Jarod Steffen, Mark Scheidt, Britton Claghorn and Lucas Glessner joined together to take an ownership stake in the business, and they have been shaping the experiences and services to better suit Fort Wayne families.

"We're proud Americans and we know that our nation's flag plays an important role for military families who've experienced loss," Steffen said. "All of us at FairHaven want to make sure that we're properly honoring the men and women who've served our country."

Steffen also took the occasion to remind members of the community that FairHaven is able to secure military death benefits for families along with arranging funerals with full military honors.

With more than 70 years of combined experience, the partner-directors at FairHaven Funeral Home have helped Fort Wayne families with kind, empathetic service, unassailable credentials and a life-long kinship to the people and place they are proud to call home. Local, affordable care is within reach. To learn more, browse our website or call us.

Pre-Planning Specialist Lisa Schenkel Comes to FairHaven to Help Families

Sat, 16 Feb 2019 05:00:00 GMT

We're very pleased to announce that Lisa Schenkel has joined FairHaven Funeral Home as a Licensed Pre-Arrangement Counselor.

FairHaven Funeral Home & Cremation Services is pleased to announce that Lisa Schenkel has joined its staff and will be providing families with funeral pre-arrangement information and advice.

"We're so happy that Lisa has come aboard," Jarod Steffen, partner-director at FairHaven Funeral Home, said. "We think she is a people person and true professional. Helping others just comes naturally to her."

Schenkel believes it is an honor to work with individuals who want to plan ahead. She said that she feels her kindness, empathy and charisma led her to the position with FairHaven. However, it's her common sense that prevails.

"Leaving a family with clear instructions and the funds to cover the cost of a funeral isn't just a carefully considered benefit," Schenkel said. "For those who like to have their affairs in order, it very much feels like the right thing to do, the smart thing to do."

To learn more about the benefits of pre-arrangement planning, including cost savings, we invite you contact Lisa, request our complimentary Pre-Planning Guide or simply make an appointment.

Lisa Schenkel grew up in Fort Wayne and graduated from the University of Saint Francis. She and her husband Paul have four children, Tony, Hannah, Bella and PJ. She is a Licensed Pre-Arrangement Counselor.

Merry Christmas from the FairHaven Family

Mon, 03 Dec 2018 05:00:00 GMT

We especially cherish the moments of togetherness, hope and faith at this time of year.

Our family is honored to serve and care for the community we love. We wish you and your family a safe and joyous holiday season.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from all of us at FairHaven Funeral Home!

Highly Respected Local Funeral Directors become Partners in FairHaven

Fri, 25 May 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Joining FairHaven today as co-owners are (l-r) Britton Claghorn, Mark Scheidt, Jarod Steffen and Lucas Glessner . The quartet of experienced funeral directors are well known to each other and many families throughout the Fort Wayne area, as they have practiced locally for many years and been involved in numerous organizations.

“We’re very pleased to have Jarod, Mark, Britton and Lucas join us and strengthen our operations and outreach,” said Paul Haarer of FairHaven Funeral Home. Funeral service in Fort Wayne has traditionally been known as “locally owned” and today FairHaven upholds that distinction. “We combine locally owned, local service, and the best funeral value in Fort Wayne,” Haarer added.

FairHaven Funeral Home has been providing top-tier service to families since 2016. The funeral and cremation provider has created a unique environment by bringing a fresh, contemporary feel to their facility. Additionally, FairHaven typically saves consumers as much as 40 percent when compared with similar services offered by other Fort Wayne funeral homes.

“Fort Wayne is our home. The city continues to grow and change, but its traditional values and strong families remain the same,” said Mark Scheidt, a funeral director for 28 years and father of four. “My partners and I bring the excellence and love of service that Fort Wayne deserves.”

Jarod Steffen, a licensed Funeral Director for 14 years, has served the Fort Wayne area for a decade. Steffen is actively involved in his church community, and he is a supporter of the Leo- Grabill Little League and Fort Wayne Rescue Mission. An avid runner, he also enjoys spending time with his wife and two children.

Britton Claghorn started his funeral service career in Bluffton in 2005 and graduated from Vincennes University with a degree in Funeral Services in 2007. He became a licensed Funeral Director in the State of Indiana in 2008.

“Being from a small town means that I will take care of your family like my own,” Claghorn said. “I’m committed to building a lasting relationship and will do whatever I can to make your experience memorable and unique.”

Lucas Glessner has been in the funeral business for 18 years and has served Fort Wayne and surrounding communities for 16 years. Born and raised in nearby Avilla, Glessner is married and has two children.

FairHaven provides a full range of funeral and cremation services and accommodates families of different faiths and denominations.

Scheidt added that he is confident that this group brings a love of their fellow citizens and a passion to serve that is without compare.

We invite you to learn more about FairHaven Funeral Home and our new funeral directors and partners simply by contacting us anytime.

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Why Choose Us? FairHaven's Mark Scheidt has the answers

When it comes to end-of-life care, you and your family have choices. However, the most important one may be which funeral home you select. Listen in as partner-director Mark Scheidt expands on the subject in our latest spot — plus brief testimonials from families we've served.

THREE IN A ROW: We've Been Voted Fort Wayne's Best

We're pleased to be recognized as Fort Wayne's Best Funeral Home for the third time in three years. It's proof positive that our brand of care — authentic, local and deriving from a deep sense of mission — is speaking directly to Fort Wayne families and helping them heal.

Readers' Choice 2021: We've Been Nominated

It gives us great pleasure to announce we've been nominated for Readers' Choice 2021 Best Funeral Home category, an honor we won in 2019 and 2020. We're so grateful to you, our families, and Fort Wayne readers. We invite you to show your support and VOTE !

FairHaven Best Funeral Home in Fort Wayne again, say Readers' Choice voters

We're pleased to announce that FairHaven Funeral Home has been voted the Best Funeral Home in Fort Wayne for the second year in row!

Forty Under 40 Award Winner: Jarod Steffen!

An enormous business honor was bestowed on one of Fort Wayne's youngest entrepreneurs last week. Our own Jarod Steffen was named one of Business Weekly 's Forty Under 40 Executives of the Year!

Pandemic Nearly Upends Sailor's Military Funeral Service

Due to Covid-19, the Navy wouldn't allow active members of their Honor Guard to attend the service of Robert Thompson, Sr. That just didn't sit right with FairHaven owner-director Mark Scheidt, who put out his own call to help honor Thompson.

FairHaven at the Y: Talking to YMCA Seniors about the Future

FairHaven's Jill Jordan and Lisa Schenkel joined attorney Charles Backs to discuss estate planning, veterans benefits and pre-arranged funeral planning.

Vital Records: FairHaven Hosts State Practitioners

FairHaven Funeral Home hosted the North Chapter Spring Conference for the Indiana Vital Record Association.

FairHaven Chapel Expansion: Building a Better Experience for Families

FairHaven sets to work on a new foundation with plans to expand the chapel. The locally owned funeral home chooses local builder & suppliers, aiding families by giving back to the Fort Wayne economy.

New Flag Pole: Stars & Stripes Forever

FairHaven raises new flag pole, making sure military families and patriots are dutifully respected during funeral services.

Pre-Planning Specialist Lisa Schenkel Comes to FairHaven to Help Families

We're very pleased to announce that Lisa Schenkel has joined FairHaven Funeral Home as a Licensed Pre-Arrangement Counselor.

Merry Christmas from the FairHaven Family

We especially cherish the moments of togetherness, hope and faith at this time of year.

Highly Respected Local Funeral Directors become Partners in FairHaven

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Feel Better Now: A Simple 6-Step Guide to Healing After a Loss